Again already

I'm baaaaaaaack. I just posted yesterday, but that post really helped me, so I'm going to try posting more and see how that goes. For one thing, I was really in a funk over the last week and since the title of the blog is Less Funk More Fit, well, I needed to get myself sorted. I find that it's really hard for me to post when I'm feeling blah. Which is probably when I most need to write down or try to capture whatever is swirling around in my head. And which may, in turn, help someone else, which is a really cool aspect of this whole blogging deal.

Posting helped me psych myself up for the gym, which I had been trying to gear up for all day and had only gotten to 50/50 on before the entry. Exploring perfection also got me thinking about the Strength class I was hemming and hawing my way out of attending. The last few times I've gone, I have been nitpicking the moves and not enjoying it as much as I did in the past. Yesterday it occurred to me that unless I plan on developing my own fitness class, there is likely never going to be some perfect class I love every time from start to finish. So I really enjoyed last night's class. I tried to go all out ("it's only an hour") and tried to complete all the sets, even when things started burning. There was only one point I rolled my eyes ("how many freaking lunges are we going to do anyway?!"), but caught myself and made a conscious effort to shift my focus.

So much of this journey is my own attitude. I felt good about my performance in the class and instead of nitpicking my instructor's choices in moves and music, I instead appreciated her for pushing me much farther than I would have ever contemplated going on my own.

In other update news, BF placed an order for groceries online and I reminded him to order me my recovery drink (chocolate milk.)  We had some back and forth on the selection; one was my organic standby and the other was the holy grail of milk from the dairy found at area Farmers' Markets, which had just added some of their products to the online grocery service. Well, when I came back from a 4-miler today, lo and behold, both were in the fridge. Apparently BF forgot to delete the first one ordered after I found out about the holy grail. "Chug up," says BF. Mmph. I'll chug up - in moderation. But that's a lot of milk!

My last couple weigh-ins have been flatlining or to put a positive spin on it: Maintenance Preview. So I'm really trying to get my fitness on, but not in a punishing way, more of a take-the-bull-by-the-horns-you-go-girl motivational approach. I've also tried to track my food better. Today I revisited weighing & measuring, the dastardly duo dreaded by losers the land over. (Even for the sake of alliteration I won't say "dieters".) When I track my food online and select natural peanut butter (ingredients: peanuts), it defaults to 2 Tablespoons as a serving, which I thought was absurd! "No way do I eat 2 T's of PB," and I'd change it to 1. Well, 1 might be sufficient on my whole wheat english muffins, but it only covered one piece of my whole wheat toast. Enlightening. And depressing. But why track if I'm going to make up some fantasy (perfectionist?) idealized version of my intake?

I want to own my journey. My decisions. I knocked out [x] miles... I worked out for at least an hour 6 days this week... I ate 2 Tablespoons of peanut butter... So be it.

It wasn't a perfect week

I missed a run last week. And a yoga session. Ah well. I ran 3 times (4 miles twice and a 5 mile run), did a fairly intense cardio session with all sorts of inclines and varying speeds on the treadmill (cardio attention-defecit disorder? "If I keep playing with these controls and only listen to 10 seconds of every song on my iPod, maybe I can will time to move faster..."), and went to an hour-long strength training class.

Alright I feel better now.  If I had stopped my report on what I had skipped out on last week, I would still feel like a fitness under-achiever. But by looking at the complete picture, it's decent. Not perfect. But then again, neither am I.

This reminds me that over the weekend, BF and I were hauling out trash and recycling and I wanted to dump some sketchy leftovers out before we closed up the bag. He held the bag open as I emptied out some black beans that were probably delicious in Q4 2009. As I repeatedly tapped the container against the side of the trash, he finally said, "Good enough, Virgo," and promptly tied the bag close before I could realize the satisfaction of getting that last little bean to surrender to its fate.

Yes, friends, apparently those born under my sign are known perceived to suffer from an obsession with perfection. Which is not the same as doing things perfectly, but often involves a general sense of disappointment and agonizing hours spent analyzing the gap between expectation and reality.

I like to think I am laid-back and easy-going. But when the spreadsheet says yoga and there is no yoga, then I have to edit the cell to read rest. Or abandon the spreadsheet altogether and no good can has come of that (in the past). So, yes, I owned and embraced the Rest Day(s). And I haven't turned into a giant Oreo. Yet.

I said when starting out (this time) that I really wanted to pursue a plan that I could see myself living on for the long-term. No quick fixes. No juice fasts. Even if that means a slower rate of loss. So I think I have to confront the fact that I am not always going to want to work out. Well, that's quite frequent, actually. But there will be times I will not be able to cajole, harass or otherwise motivate myself to workout. Then what? Or there will be times I'll really crave some pizza - not the healthified kind I make on whole-wheat baguettes, but the studio-apartment-sized NY slice served up on way too many corners near my home. Then what?

Then you deal. In the past, either of those instances would have lead to a whole new path of fitnesslessness and gooey foods. Why can't I instead say, "hey, sloth happens...that day off means you can really bang it out on your next run" or, "that pizza was delish...good thing you ate well the rest of the week so you could enjoy that"...or... anything positive. I want the idealized and real versions of myself to get to know each other better. I feel each could really learn from the other and together they could be an unstoppable force for good on this whole Fit Quest. 

(Self)Knowledge is power, I suppose.

We're gonna need some chocolate milk here...

Mmmmm,  chocolate milk. I was just reading a study touting the benefits of chocolate milk as a post-endurance training recovery drink. Apparently, relative to most bottled recovery drinks, chocolate milk boasts double the protein and carbohydrate content, plus calcium. The article ends with the researcher's comment that "it's an incredibly effective recovery drink - even though it's never been marketed as one..." 

Well, I bet it won't take too long for that to happen. In fact, I predict food scientists and the marketers that promote their creations will take it a step further by enhancing good old chocolate milk to make it even better...Now with twice the sodium chloride!

There's a really great local dairy whose milk and eggs I've bought at various Farmers' Markets here in NYC that makes an amazing chocolate milk. Their stuff is non-homogenized and sold in glass bottles, so you have to shake shake shake it to get all the creamy goodness mixed together properly. The chocolate milk tastes like a milkshake. Yum! Luckily it's not like real ice cream, where I could easily eat a pint (quart?) and call it a night. I just have a glass after my longer runs and it's surprisingly satisfying and filling. 

I was a little hesitant the first time I picked up a bottle to take home. The ghosts of dichotomies past whispering, "baaaad food, baaaaad..." in my ear. And as a wino, er, wine lover, I already drink too many of my calories in a given day, though I am trying to be one of those in-moderation types (one day at a time). But I figure I'll give the choco miracle a whirl and see how it goes.

Today I ran 5 miles (woo hoo!) and I really enjoyed the creamy treat. A couple years ago, when I first got into running, I had several episodes of post-run vomiting when I got up to running beyond 5 miles. Not every time, but it happened 3 or 4 times and I know it had something to do with the way I was (or was not) fueling my body. So we'll see how this goes.

On an unrelated note, I've been trying to spend time reading some new fitness and/or weight loss blogs. It's great relating to someone you don't know, but with whom you seem to have so many things in common. My problem is I like to read through the Archives, so I: 

1. take a long time to get to comment in The Present 
2. don't follow too many blogs because I'm stuck in someone's 2006 Holiday struggle

What are your most frequently followed blogs? Would love any suggestions...

Tipping the Scales

Are fitness magazines our tormentors or saviors? Maybe none of the above, but as I was catching up on mine this morning, it occurred to me that they can be hazardous to one's self-esteem. 

I must confess I'm a transformation junkie. I go straight for the "Success Stories" complete with Before & After shots. Man, they make it look easy. "Janey cut out fast food and lost 10 pounds the first month. She began walking and quickly lost 20 more pounds. Inspired, she added strength training and lost 15 more pounds before the end of the year." Janey never lets 2 drinks turn into 5 at Happy Hour before finding herself facedown in a plate of nachos. (No, she sips a wine spritzer, which is just a sin against wine, but I digress.)

I was in for a treat with this month's haul of fit mags. This being the January issue, it was Transformation Central!  What got me started on this theme, was coming across the phrase, "tipping the scales" in two different stories. What does that even mean? One person "tipped" at 192. I can see if she weighed 410 and her scale only went to 400. And even if she weighed 410, she could always weigh more. "Tipped the scales" suggests some kind of end-of-the-road weight to me. Like she weighed as much as is humanly possible. Alright, I'm being overly-something. I guess I just don't care for the expression and it got me thinking about the fitness media in more general terms.

Shape, Women's Health, Fitness, Self, I subscribe to all of them. Sometimes it's hard to discern much difference among them. Sometimes  I wonder how a $995 handbag or this season's perfect shade of lipstick for every complexion is going to push me along on my quest for fitness. (I already know the publishers' answer to this complaint: fashion, makeup, celebrity profiles, and other tips and quasi-promotional placements, er, articles, facilitate a holistic approach to women's "wellness".)

Which is fine, I suppose. I'm free to peruse the sections I find motivating and pertinent and flip, flip, flip through the other nonsense. Most of the "fitness models" are the same 4% body fat figures found in glossy fashion spreads - demotivating. Sometimes they'll feature a recipe makeover or a new cardio routine I want to try - motivating. 

Lately though, I've found them piling up for a couple months before I get around to them. Maybe because I've found myself so much more inspired by real people on fitness blogs? They experience struggles, setbacks, and successes - often in the same day! - just like I do. They get fed up and go "awol" and find their way back to an approach they can live with - just like I do. They don't have pat answers or 8 steps to flat abs, they make it up as they go along - just like I do.

Slow and steady

I love the footprints in this photo.  I feel ya, tortoise!  At this point, it seems on average I'm losing about .7 lbs a week. And that's great! I embrace slow and steady as a lifestyle. That's why I'm glad I changed the status bar to report in monthly. It's nice to see the number go down a wee bit steadily, versus the seemingly random ups and downs of the weekly reality. The one sad aspect of this month is that I briefly dipped into the (1)80's, but finished a bit above that, but I am certainly not going to dwell on that, nor am I going to create timelines to get there. (Rock on, tortoise!)

The weather is slowly and steadily warming up here in New York as well. Today it is supposed to get up in the mid-40's with lots of winter sun, so this could be a lovely day for a run in the Park with the boyfriend. He claims he can't talk and run. I complain it's boring for me without conversation or music. (I can't stand the sound of my footfall and breathing. It starts to grate on my nerves until 3 minutes feels like 30.) We like a lot of Podcasts, so maybe I'll load the iPod up and hook up the earbud adapter that allows you to plug in 2 sets of headphones. Or I could draw up and memorize a list of non-yes/no questions and just interview him for a few miles. Podcast sounds like a better way to go...

Speaking of podcasts, the lovely Dietgirl, half of the inspiring duo behind the Two Fit Chicks and a Microphone podcast, celebrated 9 years of blog-o-rific-ness with a 9 Days of Christmas type giveaway contest and I won a fantastic prize! I think it was the only one I entered. I'm so excited! It's a Cardio Coach workout that DG herself tested and approved. Apparently a fit trainer dude guides your cardio workouts by telling you (via your iPod, not like voices in your head or telepathy) when to pick up the pace, when to recover, when to take a cupcake break, etc. (Ok, I haven't redeemed the prize yet, but there might be a cupcake break.) It reminds me of the C25k podcasts that got me started on running - I can't wait to give it a go!

Am I Half Fat?

I have been trying to post more than just the day I weigh in and thus, hopefully, talk about things beyond the scale's feedback. 

So what else is going on? I am committed to my running program and am now focused on running 4x per week and increasing mileage.  I just did 5 miles today. (I know!) My approach is still a bit helter skelter but that seems right. That is, I end up making up the session's running "program" as I go. Sometimes I run straight through at a 12-minute pace (5.0 mph) or I switch it up by going faster and incorporating walk breaks. Today I alternated a minute running a 10-minute mile (6.0 mph) with walking 4.0 for about 20 minutes, then switched to an 11-minute mile (5.5 mph) for about 4 minutes with 1 minute of walking. And so on, until I'd hit 5 miles. It's not ideal, but it keeps me from going crazy on the treadmill.  I need to take this show on the open road, soon!

Another thing that's been on my mind is the Body Fat % on my Tanita scale. It's been at about 43% since I started weighing in. That seems really high to me. And it doesn't seem to change! Does anyone else have experience or insight? I know it's not a completely accurate reading and I am only using it as a gauge, but I'd still like it to MOVE. I should mention that I am also, like George Costanza, a "pear-shaped loser" meaning I carry most of my weight below the belt. I've read that because the way the current travels in these scales, that they may overstate body fat % on those carrying weight in their lower halves (lotta junk in the trunk, if you know what I mean, ahem)

Which is probably why although I am gradually beginning to see my fitness improve, see small wins on the scale in terms of the "lbs.", and am starting to see some tone in my arms...I have not noticed my jeans getting too much looser. I guess they fit better, but it's not, "OMG, I have to get a smaller size asap!" Hopefully I am slowly melting from the top down....

Another theory I have heard is that people tend to lose lbs or fat and go through phases of losing each? So you might lose some lbs and then go down in body fat % without the scale moving?  I guess I'm not too worried at this point, but I would like to see that % decrease eventually!  Please.

I do love half-and-half, though...

Back in the 80's!

I rejiggered my sidebar to report my weight monthly here, so the next "official" post will be whatever the scale reveals on 1/26/10.  But I do weigh myself weekly and am happy to report that today, I finally dropped (more like tip-toed) down into the 80's. Woo-hoo! 

Yes, folks, that is a picture of what we used to call a record back when I was coming up.  The Jacksons!  REO Speedwagon! 

Of course I'm probably cursing myself celebrating my new low before the appointed hour, so my next post will be along the lines of Stuck in the 90's with a photo of some dark grungy Nirvana CD cover art.  No, no, I'm in the 80's, anything's possible! I can go from welder/exotic dancer to the fancy Conservatory!


I've got a workout schedule now that I'm a week or so into. Really it's what I've been doing over the past month, but a more formal version. I'm not working at the moment, so this will all need to be re-evaluated once I have to get out of bed before noon on a daily basis. 

• M- Strength training class

• T- Run (I have a mileage schedule, though still struggling with faster pace w/walk breaks vs. slower pace. Trying to just focus on completing the mileage for the day, however I do it!)

• W - Rest

• T - Run

• F - Run

• S - Yoga class

• S - Run

And trying to incorporate incidental walking throughout the week. Which is somewhat easy to do in NYC, but does require planning. (If the movie starts at 5:00 and will take 45 minutes to walk to, leaving at 4:30 equals taxi.)  Yes, this is fitness-intense, but as noted, I do have the time (if not always the mojo!) at least for now. 


I have a friend who was unemployed in the last big recession (at least in the NY area, 2002) and she still looks back fondly at the period as being her fittest ever. Which just shows it can go either way....the extra time can be filled with workouts (where I'm at currently) or the stress of the life change can leave fitness by the wayside (or weighside, where I was). 

That just reminds me how much of weight loss is in your head. The equation is so simple, but the reality is far from easy. How do you properly support yourself so that you balance pushing yourself with loving yourself? How do you pick yourself up and continue on the path after a bad weigh-in, skipped workout, pizzafest - or all of the above? I think reading blogs where the bloggers took years to lose their weight, where they captured ups and downs and plateaus and less-than-perfect choices really helps put in perspective that it's real life. 

You have to adapt and strategize constantly. It's not XYZ Diet Book with a list of Do's and Dont's. [Ominous movie preview voiceover:] This time, it's personal. What workouts do *I* enjoy? What do *I* like to eat (and drink)? What am I willing to live without? If I go overboard, how do I right the ship? I don't really know the answers to these questions, but I think asking them is a good first step.